Important message from FHOFFS09 (Updated)

He kinda looks like this, sorta.

Have you guys heard about @FanSince09 (If you answered “yes” just proceed to the official FS09 statement)? He/She (FS09’s real identity remains concealed – it also has a personal stance against misogyny, so I don’t wanna suggest it’s necessarily a dude…) pretty much is Philadelphia. He stands for two things in the world: Twitter Justice and exploiting the infinite stupidity of twitter users. This is the guy that retweeted enough racism from people  to get them expelled from high school, kicked off their junior hockey team, or fired.
His stereotypical South Philly persona has amassed a cult following on Twitter. His popular misspellings of words – couch/coach, alfit/outfit,  attic/addict, and my personal favorite pedal stool/petal stool/ pedestal – have become common vernacular amongst his fans. In a bizarre way, he’s establishing Philadelphia’s genius by providing a satirical parody of the city itself as well as opposing cities; his following is a testament to that.

So, without rambling, I present to you the very important contest Mr. Since09 has organized to glorify his favorite Phillies of All-Time, Future Hall Of Famer Raul Ibanez or the truest Phillie, Hunter Pence, and to shame his least favorite Phillie(s), Coal/Cole Hammels/Hamels… my auto-correct is pissed about this post:

“Sup, Ock?   Don’t have a Halloween costume yet?  Well, I’m here to help!

Because I’m not cheap, unlike the Phillies,  I’m  offering a $30 gift card to my favorite restaurant, Ponzio’s Diner*, for the best FS09 related costume.
To submit, mail a photo of your costume to  FS09Costumes@yahoo.com
Each photo will be judged in two categories:
Accuracy:  How close is your costume to reality? Are you wearing the proper type of ill shirt?  Is your Coal Hammels gay enough?  Is your Couch Paterno extra intolerant of snitches?
Location:  At the Sixers home opener? Out at your favorite bar?  Wear the costume somewhere, don’t just take a photo of yourself alone in your filthy room. If you don’t wear this costume outside of the house, #killyoself.
Other people in photos:  Did you run into a celebrity? Is there a great reaction pic to you in your costume?
Bonus points:  Dressing up as as me.  The official FS09 costume is this mask, along with a FS09 appropriate alfit (usually an ill shirt and non-team color Phillies hat).  If you don’t have an ill shirt, #yougay, but you can substitute with an appropriate shirt or jersey, but remember accuracy counts.  You’ll need to look exceptionally swass to pull this costume off!!!
If you get  a photo of yourself in costume with Coal Hammels (holding a sign with his name and @fansince09 to verify), you automatically receive a gift card as well as a custom engraved plack that declares you a hero to are city.
The deadline for all photos is Monday, November 5, 2012.  Winner will be announced Wednesday, November 7.”
Note the changes in deadline. You now have until Monday to submit your favorite Fan Since 09 inspired alfit. This gives you more time to root through your chester drawls for an alfit for the contest. Have fun!

4 Responses to Important message from FHOFFS09 (Updated)

  1. phillyphan76 says:

    You’re effin bananas!! Love it!!

  2. Pingback: Phillies Links of the Day For October 27, 2012 | Philadelphia Phillies Dugout Online | Philadelphia Phillies Blog

  3. Jorge says:

    Clearly FS09 is from South Jersey, and related to this blog, and Chicks Dig Long Balls blog. Let’s figger it out.

  4. Coal Hammels says:

    I’ll be going as our couch paterno may he rest in piece

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